What It’s Like to be Black
nailed it.
omfg
IM DONE.
IC AN;T BREATHEEEEEEEEEEE
i fell out
Lmao
LMAO@ breakfast, lunch and dinner
Yo the white dude was mugging himself.
“Ni.gga stole my bike.” *ACTUAL TEARS*
(Source: nsfwhumor)
- me: time for bed
- stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
- brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
- muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
- skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
- ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
- eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
- mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
- body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
- me: ok
Husband animates joke about tortilla chips told by his drunk wife
whyyyyy am I laughing sooo hard? :/
i just cried laughing.
this is the kind of person i want to marry. someone who will record my ridiculous drunk jokes and turn them into a cartoon for the internet.
This is marriage. I can’t breathe.
(Source: girl-non-grata)
Ahh man, these are the best I’ve seen yet :P I just went full-on hysterical at A on skype… o_O
I have never laughed so hard at a tumblr post ever
Grandma is homosexual made me laugh entirely too hard at work. I had to show my coworkers so they wouldn’t think I was crazy
Laughed so hard that i have a headache. lol
cxvkn kjnzdkjxcbnvjcknjvkzdxnjkck
In actual tears. LOL
(Source: kabutocub, via trueprototype)
"When you grow up as a girl, the world tells you the things that you are supposed to be: emotional, loving, beautiful, wanted. And then when you are those things, the world tells you they are inferior: illogical, weak, vain, empty. The world teaches you that the way you exist in it is disgusting — you watch boys cringe backward in your dorm room when you talk about your period, blue water pretending to be blood in a maxi pad commercial. It is little things, and it is constant. In a food court in a mall, after you go to the gynecologist for the first time, you and your friend talk about how much it hurts, and over her shoulder you watch two boys your age turn to look at you and wrinkle their noses: the reality of your life is impolite to talk about. The world says that you don’t have a right to the space you occupy, any place with men in it is not yours, you and your body exist only as far as what men want to do with it. At fifteen, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. At almost thirty, you find fifteen-year-old boys you have never met still somehow believe you should bend your body to their will. They are children. They are children."
— Stevie Nicks (via actias)
(Source: whisperingwordsofwisdom, via kaorijoy)
"For those of you that have your heads stuck under rocks, which apparently is the majority of this Senate, you have been FUCKING UP in terms of reasonable gun control legislation. I’ve been getting texts on texts about Senators LITERALLY being so fucking INHUMANE and so fucking CALLOUS. If you’re reading this right now and saying to yourself “But oh em gee Barry, I’ve been having so much fun with my NRA pals this week!”, then punch yourself in the face right now so
that I don’t have to fucking find you on the Hill to do it myself."
that I don’t have to fucking find you on the Hill to do it myself."
— If Deranged Sorority Emailer Wrote Obama’s Gun Control Speech Scolding Senate (via givingmelife)
(via givingmelife)
My school’s confessions page, ladies and germs!
WELPPPPPPPP!!!
1) it’s really stank to knowingly sleep with someone else’s boyfriend.
2) that said, this girl deserves it.
3) “God bless, bitch” is the best way to end any conversation.
#GodBlessBitch *dead*
(Source: fuckyeahidiotonfacebook)
"
You might remember that earlier I mentioned I clicked the link provided by Azealia Banks of her remix, only to find it had been taken down. Banks posted the remix on soundcloud, but Baauer and his labelmate Diplo demanded it be taken down because it was an un-authorized remix. Aside from the obvious rejoinder that the majority of soundcloud is unauthorized remixes, this episode reveals the difference of power that negotiates the “open” space of the internet. We have a white producer, who is accused of appropriating Harlem culture, attacking a black female rapper born in Harlem of improperly using his “intellectual property.” Black claims to propriety are met with crickets, while a white man’s claim is heard and acted upon to the detriment of Banks. Diplo took to twitter to begin the anti-Banks commentary, while Banks refused to back down. She made a music video and posted it to youtube, ensuring that her fans would still have access to the song. The spat continued on twitter though, with Banks inadvertently calling Baauer the “F-word.” This re-ignited a sleeping giant in Azealia Banks’ burgeoning career, which is her intramural relations with the LGBT civil rights apparatus, as well as gay male media figures, that simultaneously support and police her. This conversation is deep and necessary (for a much better handling of this topic, click here), yet for the purposes of this essay it is important to mention this because much of the coverage of this “twitter beef” was to categorize this as “yet another Azealia Banks beef.” There is an almost universal consensus that Banks starts and maintains beefs with producers, a storyline Baauer and Diplo cited and perpetuated to deflect attention away from their own fault. Baauer and Diplo’s story is that Banks recorded a remix and they asked her to not post it because they decided to go into a different direction. The different direction was to get Juicy J to record a remix and release that as the official remix. What this mystifies is what Banks brought up: the fact that they came to Banks asking her to remix it initially and then, at the last second, after she had worked, mixed, prepared a marketing strategy, aligned it with her own schedule, and shot a video, they decided they did not want her to go forward with it. So, Baauer and Diplo decided that Banks’ life and career should take a backseat because they wanted another, more famous, black artist to remix their song.
What is happening here is a politics of obliteration. That Banks is thought to be replaceable by Juicy J is emblematic of what so many black people in popular culture have attested to: the systemic belief in the interchangeability of black entertainers. The thought here is that a black female rapper from Harlem can be replaced by a black male rapper from Memphis, Tennessee. Baauer attempts to say that he thought Azealia Banks’ lyrics were only so-so and believed Juicy J could do better. If this is not an example of a white man talking out of his ass, I am not sure what is. I do not need to get into the technical aspects of rapping to say Azealia Banks could destroy any rapper who’s idea of a great song is, “Bands ‘a make her dance.” But this is not about Juicy J, this is about Baauer and the meaning of blackness to his ability to produce music. For him, black culture is not an other’s thing made in specific contexts, but instead are loose, unowned resources of “cool” to be stretched, interpolated, and sequenced into a dramatic product to produce his own name. Thus, the being of black culture (its claims to place and time) are obliterated so that he may write himself into existence over the cleared field. Saidiya Hartman writes, “The elasticity of blackness and its capacious affects enabled such flights and becomings… The fungibility of the commodity, specifically its abstractness and immateriality, enabled the black body to serve as the vehicle of self-exploration, renunciation, and enjoyment” (Hartman, 25). Thus, Baauer is not simply emblematic of an internet-age, post-genre music culture, but is instead an example par excellance of the white imagination using the black body as a vehicle for its own purposes. In other words, Baauer is not (only) a thief, he is a master.
—
Looking for Azealia’s Harlem Shake, Or How We Mistake the Politics of Obliteration for Appropriation (via so-treu)
1st comment:
Damn this is good. I wish I wrote it :/
Thus, Baauer is not simply emblematic of an internet-age, post-genre music culture, but is instead an example par excellance of the white imagination using the black body as a vehicle for its own purposes. In other words, Baauer is not (only) a thief, he is a master.
======================
2nd comment:
#Speechless.
(via newmodelminority)
Diplo is the scum of the fucking earth. I hope his eardrums rupture so he can never steal music and culture again.
(via blackfoxx)
check out the other work on that blog (outofnowhere.blogspot.com). Both (I think right now it’s still only two) of those thinkers are PHENOMENAL. Murillo & Brady’s work can also be found on thefeministwire.com.
(via fenice-argento)
wow. these are the kinds of conversations and writing i like. *goes to read more*
(via strugglingtobeheard)
I dunno that I necessarily agree with all the points, but this is a really smart read on what has become mainstream appropriation and exploitation of black culture.
(via asmashproductions)
How the Logic of "Friendzoning" Would Work If Applied in Other Instances:
- *Man walks into a store and finds employee*
- Man: Alright, I've had enough. Why haven't you guys hired me?!
- Employee: Uh...well sir, when did you put in your application?
- Man: I never filled out an application.
- Employee: Well sir, we can't consider you for employment if you've never filled out an application.
- Man: No, that's bullshit, because I've been coming here for years now, and every single time I tell you all how much I love this store and how much I appreciate your customer service, unlike some of your other customers might I add!
- Employee: Well, but that doesn't-
- Man: AND I even told you that I didn't have a job!
- Employee: But sir, that doesn't indicate to us that you would like a job at our store. And again, if you've never filled out an application, we can't consider you. Besides, we're not hiring.
- Man: OH! Not hiring, HA! What a laugh. I see your store go through seasonal workers all the time. They come and go like nothing, but you won't consider me as a part-time employee even though I KNOW you've been looking for workers to fill positions? That's insane!
- Employee: Sir, we've been looking to hire a few people for management positions. Do you have any management experience?
- Man: Well no, but what does that matter?
- Employee: ...Well sir, that's what we're looking for. You won't be suitable for the position without management experience.
- Man: Oh that's such a load of crap. You know, you'll be waiting around a long time for a manager if you don't lower your standards a little. Who cares if someone knows how to manage a store? I LOVE this store and I'm willing to work here, that's all that should matter to you.
- Employee: That...doesn't make any sense.
- Man: NO! I'm done. This is over. From now on, no more Mr. Nice Guy.
- Employee:
- Man:
- Employee:
- Man: Fuck you, slut.
